SMLI Reflections 1

Staffing SMLI was one of the most worthwhile experiences I’ve had in a while. Developing intentional programs to enrich the tolerance, cultural sensitivity, and leadership of select incoming freshmen in this exclusive institute made me realize that I’d be a great role model to the kids that I adopt. There were guests that spoke about social change, responsibility, passion, and free speech. There were workshops that helped figure out leadership styles, conflict resolution, and stereotypes. Finally there was a group case study that challenged the SMLI participants’ critical thinking skills to navigate the UCI power map and provide a solution to a modern university problem.

One of the workshops included a poster presentation on a certain word regarding social change. My group’s word was equality. They wrote what equality sounded like, looked like, and felt like. I was asked what equality felt like to me because they wanted an example. I responded that I didn’t know what it felt like because my equality as a homosexual is determined by people’s votes and currently even though 8 was repealed, marriages are still on hold until the counterpart is given a chance to reappeal. The group then decided that they knew what it looked like, or at least looked like. One of the symbols they drew was of a standard male stick figure holding hands with another male stick figure. This was then juxtaposed next to a male stick figure holding hands with a female figure and in between the two couples was an equal sign. It reminded me of my recent project a gay couple who were so passionately in love with each other and would like to get married. After the artist was finished drawing, she turned to which made everyone else in the group turn towards me, all awaiting and eager to see my reaction. No words left my mouth as I was speechless. Emotions that I couldn’t pinpoint at that time ran through me like a horse that had been caged its entire life.

Seeing the future leaders of the university having these ideas about equality was so emotionally refreshing that it triggered something. This has been what I’ve been doing my whole life. Achieving leadership positions everywhere I go so that I could change it or at least monitor it to be sensitive against intolerance. I nodded to them, left the room, and let the horse roam free in a puddle of tears.