My latest project has been with an adorably charming couple who were high school sweethearts. When I first tackled this story, I wanted to make it light, funny, and interesting so that other couples could see that gay relationships can be so, but the deeper I delved into their lives I felt stupid. I absolutely missed the amount of emotional investment, commitment, and love that these two had for each other. So much so that they’re willing to risk the direction of their lives just so they can accommodate each other.
It was a pleasure writing about them and everyone can appreciate their attitude towards life. When we all ate dinner and watched the sunset together, I couldn’t help be enveloped by their love and affection towards each other. Even though I noticed they turned many heads upon each little peck, hands around each other’s waists or when they still, after many years, get lost in each other’s eyes, their isolated apathetic attitude helped dispel these signs of automated safeguards of societal aversion. Not that they were affected by it anyway. By choosing or not choosing to live the way they want they’re blasting concrete walls for others to tread and follow. At the end of the day, they just want to be together and love each other.
Distance
A true story by John Alejandro
Dedicated to Frin and Naso.
“This is fun” Naso said.
“Yeah…it is isn’t it?” I concluded after a hot round of sex. “Guess we’re not straight…”
“What should we do?”
“Do you want to go out?” I asked sheepishly.
“Sure.”
Beginnings
We started off sort of rough, but definitely fun. It was quite a rocky beginning and there were many variables in play that hindered certain things in the beginning. Naso’s gay friend also came out and a small situation manifested itself. Timing was horrible and I went out of the country right after something developed between us. I racked up hundreds of dollars worth of overseas phone bills just to be able to talk to him, to hear his voice. When I returned, Naso was the one to leave for another continent. Oceans apart, one question drilled itself into my mind. Would these trips change our “friendship”? Separation and distance played such sweet tricks. Fate ripened my want, my love, my need for him. He was and is my best friend.
Another question developed long term. What if we were just going through a phase? What if we didn’t really want this for our lives? We do want families in the future. During the first few months we’d always stop and take a look back and deliberate whether we should keep doing this, whether this really is the route we want to take. We’d try and stop seeing each other for a while, but we’re back to it. After a month of testing the waters, clearing up any insecurities that might have developed, we decided to settle down. There was no excuse in dissolving a valued relationship for petty reasons. Why not have experiences that you enjoy while they last? We decided to live for ourselves and not for anyone else. We took those crossed stars and made them parallel.
Him and I
Naso’s really easygoing and zenlike. Drama is the last thing he wants and we value the same things. I don’t mean that you can trample all over him, but in a way he has a tacit confidence. A black widow in the corner of the room. Mysterious, silent, but deadly. He’s a genius. One time he was just barely learning how to play the guitar and I asked him to play a song. He plays a ten minute piece perfectly attuned to which he concludes “well I’m not that good yet”. He’s also the opposite of that sometimes too. One day, he fell off from his bike, scraped his knee which I thought was extremely hot, and lost his wallet. When he got home, we sat in bed for five hours and just talked. I like how we can spend exorbitant amounts of time with each other and never get bored. Finally, he’s just the most attractive guy I’ve ever met. I honestly believe that. With every passing year he’s become more and more attractive.
Similarly, I like simple things. I don’t consider myself a complex guy. I just like to sit around and chat. Whatever’s going on I’m down for. I’m spontaneous, but eat simple food. I have a weird sense of humor, but then again I am a physics major. I love trance music and listen to it 24/7. Finally, I just don’t really give a damn about what other people think. I take everything with a grain of salt, especially ever since I’ve moved to
If I never met him, I’d probably be more boisterous. Likewise, I’ve probably made him more extroverted. When we go clubbing he’s the life of the party. He loves gospel culture and is keen on enjoying yourself, having a good time, and celebrating life.
High School
Throughout high school, we became best friends. He was an excellent choir singer and I did comedy sports. We did a plethora of things together like ASB events, school plays, and even though we were in different social circles, we managed to create an environment for our friendship. He was of course the coolest guy on campus with the most friends. I hung out with a mainly older group.
One night, after a long day of rehearsals for a musical, we ended up falling asleep together. Naso usually naps during the day and today was so busy he didn’t get a chance to. We were recording a television show for a project and there was still an hour left so we decided to take one. Within five minutes, after taking either sides of the bed, the atmosphere changed.
“Frin, I’m really cold”
“I’ll help” I said as I positioned myself on top of him.
“Fuck it” Naso exclaimed.
Hormones took over and sliced the tension. Naso kissed me. I kissed him back. We turned off the lights, made out, and got naked pretty fast. The sex was great.
But the next day it wasn’t awkward. We chatted online and he thanked me for the night before. I said thanks. We fooled around and it felt good so we kept seeing each other.
Later on when I asked him why he kissed me he said “You were hard...”
It was all in good fun, but that point was never serious. And the days after those nights never interfered with our personas, which helped a lot considering we knew that this was sort of against expectations. We had each other. It was a brave new world with only us in it.
College
We both applied to the same schools but at the time that we made our final decisions, we’d have been only dating for a week. We didn’t know that this would ultimately impact and shape the rest of our college lives in such a profound way..
Naso eventually went to a university 441 miles away from mine. It was hard. There were trust issues and insecurities that were worked out but eventually we got over it. The hard part was staying sane while he was away.
I didn’t get too involved with athletics because I wanted to be able to spend time with him. I enjoyed working two jobs because it would make the time pass by that much faster until I can see him again. Weeks rolled by and I didn’t mind. Too much of a “my” world wasn’t what I wanted because it would just be so much harder to fit him into my life. I didn’t want him to be another piece to the puzzle. My life encompassed an “us”. Meeting him has changed the course of my life in a completely different direction.
We put our lives on hold while working on our degrees which would eventually lead us to be together, and that’s all we wanted was to be in each other’s presence. Internet chat was a must every night and sometimes we would also start online shows together and talk about them as if there was an electric bridge that linked our lives even for a short hour.
At the same time Naso didn’t have a lot of financial limitations nor did I want him sulking like I did. I wanted him to enjoy life and well, wherever he’d go he’d mail me a little something like a postcard and I get to see all the places he went to.
One day when we were chatting he said something that pierced quite deeply. He said, “Frin…I think that if this…what we had didn’t work out, I don’t think I’ll be able to forget about you. I think twenty years down the line… if I met someone else …I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”
Thinking back, I would do it all over for him. I would go through all the bouts of longing just to be with him for a brief few days and go back into slowly building a life that we could enjoy together.
Moving in
In a short amount of time, I’m happy to say that Naso is transferring to my university. We’ve been waiting for this for a long time and I’m appreciative that he’s making such a big move just so we can be together. I don’t think he realizes how much I am thankful for this. Our college lives, our life starts this year. I’d be lying if I said I can’t wait, because that’s what I’ve been doing all up to this point.
He’s the perfect guy. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. I’m so lucky to have met him so early in my life and I will do everything in my power to make this work.
It’s only a matter of time until nirvana slaps me in the face
Springtime romance that lasted years
Drive to a nearby mountain, take him
Enjoy the scenery and of course do much more
Brush his hair, tell him he’s gorgeous
In bed, tell him he’s hot
Because he is and deserves to know it
It’s infallible that my want, love, and need
Grows for him exponentially
Marry your best friend, that’s what I intend to do…
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