Platinum

A doctor came in today. He bought $20 worth of string and American cheese. I guess he liked cheese.

As I was already impressed by his labcoat and green scrubs (which means surgeon I think), he then upped his game. Upon payment he took out a metallic looking American Express credit card. It was black heavy metal. It was beautiful. It gave me an orgasm.

“Oh my god you can kill someone with this!” I yelped in delight

“Platinum... That’s how I roll baby.” he said in southwestern douche.

I held the card in my hand and it felt like a shuriken that could buy its way into my heart. It was so sleek and elegant. In all its black platinum glory, however, Pippin’s machine insulted the obsidian god. This hillbilly piece of equipment only takes Visa and Mastercard. He was in a hurry and apparently a patient was waiting. I waited for the director to void the sale, but instead he took out two inches thick worth of cash and handed me a fifty. It was as if the enlarged lab jacket’s sole purpose was to carry his iron bar of a credit card and his drug-like cash.

“You need to get this credit card machine fixed man. The chances of this baby getting rejected is slim to none.” the surgeon said to the director

I could see the cool azure fire burning in my boss’s eyes. He doesn’t get angry. Like me, I believe he plots complex multimedium revenge instead of a confrontation.

“I’m sorry I believe its your card’s company, and not your credit” he said politely to the surgeon before he left.

“Wow that guy was a jerk” he uttered calmly to me.

“Well he’s a doctor…” I pronounced in defense to my future field (hoping that someday if I develop a god complex, someone will understand that I’m just in a lot of pressure)

I did some research right when I got home. Platinum credit card: $450 a year just to be able to say you own one, no spending limit (none, nada, you can buy a house and lot with it), and you can take off on a jet, limo, or cruise in record time all you have to do is call a number.

The guy was a jerk, but how can you blame him? He needs to carry this dumbbell in his wallet everyday.