Bossman

My boss told me today: "John, I don't know how I could've gone through this year without you."

I've been in the role of an executive assistant for this man for two years and what a great thing to say.

Some of my feats:

Prepared his stance and emotional state for UCI dining's accident on serving chicken and waffles on MLK day

---Which reached mentionable blogs like the LA times, and OC weekly

Planned, coordinated, and executed three theme dinners (Halloween, Thanksgiving, and the Lotus festival).

---All successes

Successfully implemented his vision in everyday service

Assisted him in a TV taping

---We got to go on TV

Successfully covered his tracks in everything

We go way back...I'll miss him in the future for sure.

=(

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

Roy

I am regalia with a tinge of fierce

Time

After physically falling from getting dizzy, I realized that I work and study too much. I will make time for myself and for love. Fuck it. We only live up to 100. There's no reason why I can't use this amazing coordination and time management skills to fit in fun.

Good game, success. You win. I'll go ahead and grab life by the horns now, but thanks you've taught me such valuable lessons.

Compassion

Whenever you think of religion, you think of organized religion whose purpose is to lower crime and create a civilized society even in the cost of being uncivil.

There's always the good and the bad within every group and I've bagged on organized religion for quite some time. I feel like they've destroyed the soul of being kind and human to each other because of issues they feel very strongly in.

There's a light that was cast today and she simply said I will pray for you. Speaking of the gargantuan stress my body's been through. She said it without asking for anything in return or any social agenda. I enjoyed that. Here is someone with compassion and charity that you don't find in many warrior Christians always trying to end abortion or stop gay marriage even in other countries.

Thank you maam. It's real to know you.

Exhaustion

Work and nursing school is a toxic combination:

My body is in a state of exhaustion. There are tremors in my fingers that weren't once there. Its becoming harder to breathe. The lack of sleep has made my eyes heavy set and become harder to walk.

A bright future must be pursued, I'm ignoring my body's stressors for something higher in purpose. I'm chasing success, money, and power.

Being in charge of 1,000 hungry mouths within a 4 hour shift for three shifts a week is entirely maddening. Couple that with some incompetent workers, highly specialized diets, uncontrollable union workers and we have ourselves unimaginable stress.

This springs forth as well with the incredibly demanding curriculum within UCI's nursing program that every free hour of every day there's something to do. I feel engulfed in a race to just keep afloat with the amount of school and work. There's a midterm every week starting 4th week.

I don't have any time to myself. I need time to unwind and relax. I want time to date. I want someone who can help me through this. I've relied on myself for 21 years. Myself can't take it any longer.

Want

The white room's lights are dimmed down. Blue eye clicker lights glow brighter than the pale luminescence, but only thoughts of you sear min the deep recesses of my mind. I have not gotten to know you yet, but I crave you. I want to press my cheeks against your defined jaw line and rest my head against your neck. I know you want me too. I want to leave everything and pursue you. I have no time.